Your Guide to Wedding Gift Etiquette
There is a lot of etiquette when it comes to weddings. One area where people often have questions is when it comes to wedding gifts. This is everything that you need to know about wedding gift etiquette, whether you are the bride, the groom, a parent, an attendant, or a guest.
One question that often arises is whether it is necessary to send a gift for a wedding to which you were invited, but are not going to attend. The answer is that no one is technically obligated to send a wedding gift, although if you are going to the wedding, it is certainly the norm to get a wedding gift. Those who are not attending the wedding are not required to send a present, but will often wish to do so anyway. If budget is a concern, the gift need not be expensive at all; a pretty picture frame is something that the newlyweds will definitely be able to use, but can be purchased for under $20.
Speaking of money, guests often wonder if it acceptable to give a check or cash in lieu of an item. You can comfortably assume that no bride or groom would be disappointed to receive money, so go right ahead! If you are giving cash, be sure to put it in a card with your name on it so that the couple will know who gave it to them. If cash is such a great gift, you may wonder if it is okay for the couple to make it known that they would prefer cash instead of other gifts, and the answer is absolutely not. It is the height of rudeness to dictate to your guests that you only want money; it smacks of charging an admission fee to your wedding.
Some couples are trying to be helpful, and request that no gifts be brought to their wedding, but that is technically incorrect as well, as you are making the assumption that people will be falling all over themselves to buy you something unless you dictate otherwise. Requesting no gifts also deprives your guests of the pleasure of picking out something special for you, if they are so inclined. If someone directly asks you what gift you would like for your wedding, it is certainly fine to tell them that their presence is the only present that you desire; just don’t expect them to abide by your statement, as they will most likely assume that you are simply being polite.
It is common for the parents of the bride and groom to give the happy couple a wedding gift, as well. The value of the gift can vary widely, depending on the financial situation of the parents. Typical gifts range from a small appliance for the new home, to a handmade quilt, to a generous check, to a down payment on a new house. It is entirely up to the discretion of the bride and groom’s parents. The gifts from each set of parents do not need to be equivalent in value, either. If one family is well-to-do, and the other is not, the family with a smaller budget should choose a gift that is within their means, and not worry about competing with the other parents over who can give the nicer gift.
Etiquette dictates that the bride and groom should also give bridesmaid and groomsmen gifts to their attendants. The rule of thumb is that the gifts for the maid of honor and best man are more expensive than the gifts for the rest of the bridesmaids and groomsmen. For example, if you are giving your bridesmaids a pair of earrings, you would give your maid of honor a necklace to match. Or if the groom has chosen pocketknives for his groomsmen gifts, the best man’s can be made from engraved silver. Whatever gift you choose for your attendants, make sure that is good quality and has lasting value.
Gifts are a big part of any celebration. When you know the etiquette and customs surrounding wedding presents, it takes a lot of the guess work out of the equation. One final very important thing to remember about wedding gifts is that each one deserves a prompt and heartfelt thank you note!
Ask Bridget for advice in areas of jewelry or weddings. She writes numerous articles providing information for the customers of Silverland Jewelry.com. Visit us on the web for an excellent collection of personalized groomsmen gifts.
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