Selecting Your Wedding Party
Once you have become engaged, one of the first things you will want to do is pick your bridal party. But where to begin? This is an overview on all of the various members of the wedding party, their roles, and how to determine who to invite.
Most bridal parties will consist of at least one maid of honor, a best man, and some bridesmaids and groomsmen. Some brides will also have a second honor attendant, the matron of honor, who is a married woman. The next member to be added to the group is typically a flower girl. Then there is the ring bearer. Less frequently, a wedding party will also have junior bridesmaids and pages.
So just who are all of these people, and how do you know if you need them? At the minimum, you will want one attendant to stand with you as a witness. The best man and maid of honor are the chief honor attendants, and should either be a very close friend or a relative, most often a brother or sister (you do also see the father of the groom as the best man at times). They do have actual responsibilities in the wedding ceremony, beyond marching down the aisle. The best man is charged with the very important job of handing the wedding rings to the officiant for the ring exchange portion of the ceremony, and the maid of honor will stand near the bride to hold her bouquet, fluff her train, and so on.
Bridesmaids and groomsmen are mainly there for decoration. They should be the good friends of the couple, as well as any other relatives that you wish to include, such as the bride’s brother as a groomsmen or the groom’s favorite cousin as a bridesmaid. It is important that everyone in the wedding party be someone special to you; it is not, however, important to have even numbers of groomsmen and bridesmaids, so do not feel obligated to ask someone you otherwise would not have just to get to a certain number of attendants.
The flower girl is a charming addition to any wedding, and should be a young girl between the ages of roughly two and eight. The flower girl walks before the bride, either sprinkling rose petals on the aisle, or holding a small basket or bouquet of flowers. If you have a special little girl who is older than eight or nine that you would like to include in your wedding, ask her to be a junior bridesmaid. The role of the junior bridesmaid is the same as that of the regular bridesmaid, only she will usually wear a more age-appropriate version of the bridesmaids’ dress.
The ring bearer is a young boy who carries a special pillow down the aisle, with the wedding bands tied to it (either the real or fake rings). Less often seen are pages, who are young boys that walk behind the bride and carry the train on her gown. Pages are generally reserved for very formal weddings, and for those where the bride is wearing a gown with a cathedral length train.
The size of your wedding party should make sense with the size of your wedding. You do not want to have half of the wedding guests standing up at the altar. Unless your wedding is very, very large, plan to limit yourself to around five or six bridesmaids and groomsmen, plus the honor attendants, one flower girl, and one ring bearer. Not only will this make for a good proportion, but it will also keep your costs under control. Keep in mind that for each attendant, you will have additional expenses, including bridesmaid and groomsmen gifts, limos to the wedding, meals at the rehearsal dinner and so forth. For instance, for a five bridesmaid group, if you spent a modest $40 on each of their gifts, you would be looking at a cost of $200 for presents. If you have ten bridesmaids, suddenly your gift budget is up to $400, and that does not even include their transportation and the rest of it. A smaller wedding party can be a very easy way to keep the wedding budget under control.
Choosing your wedding party is a very personal decision. The final group should be one that is pleasing to both the bride and the groom, and should consist of those who are closest to you. The friends and family that you include in your bridal party will become even more special to you, thanks to the memories that you will share with them.
About the Author Bridget Mora
Ask Bridget for advice in areas of jewelry or weddings. She writes numerous articles providing information for the customers of Silverland Jewelry.com. Bridesmaid and groomsmen gifts are the perfect way to thank the members of your wedding party.
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